yup... bald. Can you see it too?

Yup. I'm even more bald than I realized...and I hate it.

I had to get a pair of dress pants altered today. I've been working out and, while I haven't lost weight, I've changed shape a little bit. So drove to men's warehouse to get the pants altered. Once I got to the store, I was asked to step up into a "hall of mirrors" to have the pants marked for alteration.

I have a love hate relationship with mirrors. I was/am infatuated with looking at myself in mirrors. I was the kid (am the adult) who just stood there and made faces at himself to see what they looked like?! But today was different. I had a mission as soon as I saw that crazy 48-sided mirror. I was gonna look at the back of my head...

While I didn't find a full fledged "hole" in the hair yet, it is certainly lighter, thinner, and AWFUL!! In my own little silly mind, my hair is all I have. I've always had thick crazy hair. My hair is ME!?! And now, I'm on the slow painful road to Andre Agassi. (no offense Andre...) Funny how I was almost completely content with my age/life/etc today until I saw the back of my own head.

The same thing happens to me just about every darn time I open up my Bible to read. I know what's inside of that book... I read it all the time for work. But really getting inside and taking the text into my soul is a lot like stepping into a hall of mirrors for me. I'm reminded of the things I've forgotten; the ways I'm called to love, the ways I'm called to serve, to obey, to teach, to be humble, to die to myself, to suffer, to receive, etc. There are days I close my Bible with the fear that my soul is on the slow painful road to Andre Agassi. Have I've lost the ability to grow hair? Have I lost the ability to bear fruit? Does everyone else know I'm "bald" but me? Why didn't anyone tell me about this?!?

About 2 years ago, as a joke, a friend of mine took a picture of the back of my head and said "Someone needed to tell you... you're starting to go bald". I was silently crushed, but it did cause me to think about how I did my hair. (Vanity, vanity)

A few months ago, I joined an accountability group. Occasionally one of the guys in the group will tell me about a similar baldness they see in my soul. It helps me to think about how I live my life, and I try to make changes and think about the way I live.

Go. Find a hall of mirrors. Take a good look at yourself. Bald is beautiful (I keep telling myself that), that is unless the baldness represents a lack of spiritual growth, spiritual fruit, or spiritual discipline. One of my favorite quotes (it hangs on my wall) is this... "the Bible is like a mirror in which you can see yourself more clearly, if you dare to look"

 Yup. I'm bald, and I'm back. I'll be praying for you... please pray for each other.